Alexa Van and The Black Outs Convey Depression and Isolation in ‘HAUNTED’ Music Video

by JAMES DURAN

We spoke with Alexa Van about her bands latest music video that touches on the moods and isolation of living with depression.

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Alexa Van and The Black Outs have just shared the music video for their serene new track ‘HAUNTED’. The song is light and sultry but remains jagged and raw like the groups other, more intense tracks. Paralleling ‘HAUNTED’ is a simple but emotionally heavy music video that, according the band, is meant to convey the “listlessness and isolation that comes from living with depression”. We spoke with front-woman Alexa Van about the inspiration behind the music, the video, and what it’s like living and dealing with depression.

Where did the idea and theme for the ‘HAUNTED’ music video come from? What was the creative process like?

The theme and idea for ‘HAUNTED’ came from living it. I think a lot of people who don't understand depression (whether they've had it or not,) think of a sad person staring out the window at the rain, crying in a bathtub, or Eeyore hiding in the back of a library reading Edgar Allan Poe.

Although all of those things could be accurate, it's not the only way depression looks. Sometimes it's like a blanket of numbness paired with anxious-apartness.

I spent years of my life never knowing I had it. I was so used to the feeling that way, I thought that it was normal. I could be in a situation that was supposed to be fun and uplifting and feel miserable, counting the seconds until I could be alone in my room again. It's one thing to be sad when it's a sad situation, it's a whole other bag of worms when nothing's wrong and you're drowning.

When it hits, nothing feels right. So I ended up doing some pretty weird shit just to feel something. The video is just a girl in one room the entire time trying to entertain herself. Being silly and ridiculous with no expression. It's anti-climactic and droning, like a prison you can leave anytime you want, but you don't know you're in. Something feels off, and you assume you're just made wrong.

The creative process was simple enough. I tried to think of things that entertain/ cheer people up, and show it not working. Smiley faces, balloons, ski-masks, and confetti canons to name a few. It was a total coincidence that we were locked in our houses at the exact time we shot this video, the quarantine actually had nothing to do with the idea.

In the videos footnotes, you explained that with ‘HAUNTED’ you try and convey the “listlessness and isolation that comes from living with depression” and those themes are very apparent in the film - Do you have any tips for those living with depression?

I think the only tip I can think of for anyone living with depression would be to set the bar lower for yourself. People love to say toxic things like; "you're as happy as you make your mind up to be!" I don't remember deciding I wanted to spend years of my life feeling miserable, but telling myself to be happy never seemed to do the trick. So if you can, try to set your bar lower. Instead of going from crippling depression to live/ laugh/ love, try going from crippling depression to less depressed. Then, if you fall back into the pits again, remember that is not your fault. It's usually not a linear thing. Some days are great then the next one I'm on my ass again, wondering how I'll ever sustain that one good day. When that happens- I shoot for neutral. Let's give each other a fucking break - If your server is being a jerk, leave them a bigger tip. They could be drowning, too.

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Check out the music video for ‘HAUNTED’ by Alexa Van and the Blackouts and keep up with us on Instagram for more reality

Words + Photos by James Duran